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what do you do?
2/28/2026, 11:00i work in a kitchen. it's a mexian BBQ place, with a fancy agave bar. our bartenders are so charasmatic. we had a veteran in tonight who sat at the bar for six hours. he got super drunk and told our general manager that he had served two tours, and now worked in a high school. he didn't know what to tell his students when they go back on tuesday. my manager didnt know what to say to him. how do you comfort someone going through that? he explained his PTSD hadn't been this bad since he got back. my friend works at the local veterans place and said he has had a lot of folks calling about similar things. i'm anti-war, and anti-military, but i am in no way anti-veteran.
my boss told me about the two wars that he had to exist through in the united states. i was at work watching hasan talk about all the bombings. he said he would have loved to close just to let us be at home today, but we allhave bills and rent to pay. he was compassionate as this is the first time for a lot of us being adults and witnessing our country so something like this. it feels different as kids.
the guy at the bar said 'how do i talk to my students about this? what do is say to them?' and no one could find and answer. we got him another beer and just listened to him.
i am alone tonight and have to be at work in a few hours. i should sleep. i will try again tomorrow.
im upset
2/28/2026, 2:03PMmy manager told me something a coworker said about me on thursday. i found out yesterday. and it has ruined my whole week to be honest. the coworker is some guy who thinks hes tough and scary with his guns (side note: my husband and i own quite a few too!), and he calls people the r slur, says the most insensitive shit all the time, and i just actively avoid talking with him. our workplace is a very calm nice, safe place for people. our boss doesn't like conservatives, actively tries to hire the misfits and the people who don't fit anywhere else. i don't know if he knows he does it.
but this coworker suggested i dont actually have migraines, and that my chronic pain isnt even that bad. he has a bad backsometimes so obviously he'd understand (sarcasm). he works two nights a week. i work five. i'm disabled, he is not. he thought my manager would think it was funny, but he didn't.
i forget that folks don't understand disabilities, or gender nutral pronouns which he often tries to make fun of. if we weren't short staffed to fuck, i would be pushing him to get fired. but i understand why we can't. i might just ask to move to a morning shift once a week to avoid him further.
i wish i wasn't a cripple. i wish i didn't have migraines. i wish i didn't have pain 24/7. i wish i didn't walk with a limp. i wish i could see properly. i wish i was cis. i wish i could fit in more sometimes. i'm bad at masking my autism. i'm bad at conforming to any gender roles, it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. i just wish people weren't cunts.
im fine. i will always be fine. it is not my first, nor my last, run in with dickheads. it was also nice to hear my boss and manager be upset for me. but still, what the fuck is wrong with people. is it so hard to believe someone has migraines?
i also think its insane because he was throwing a bitch fit cause i was leaving early for a concert, not cause i was sick. fucking idiot baby!my package!!!
2/26/2026, 11:55AMi ordered from lush last week. i prefer their stuff cause its one of the few places that dont cause me to break out in hives and rashes. its expensive, but i like it. i had a sweet girl in their giant london store talk to me for three hours one day, back in 2017. she found me a perfume i wear to this day. she was really sweet, irish, i took her out for dinner to thank her. but to this day, i still use the scent she picked out for me. i am a product of everyone i have ever met and adored.
the package is delayed and stuck in TN. :(
if you want reccomendations for some good classic stuff and not just a gimmick (they have a habit of doing gimmicks, but its good for kids!), i'm going to attach links and why it works! also i cant have nuts, so nothing i will link has any kind of nuts in it!
elbow grease - this stuff is a heavy moisturiser for tattoos. when it first came out, it wasnt sold for tattoos but the community quickly realised it made the colour shine. i used it when i first got mine, but dont use it on a healing or raised tattoo. only for flat fully healed. they discontinued it for a few years but people asked for it so much they finally brought it back in the archive!
dirty hair styling - short hair thats pretty straight a flat? this shit will get you fluffy and not crunchy. this stuff stays in my hair for days if i dont wash. my hair is incredibly flat and straight, thick too. this stuff has never failed to give me a few waves and make me not have a horrible bowl hair cut. listen i love a bowl hair cut and i refuse to get anything else, but i want it to be fluffy too it also smells divine. this is the scent from lush that i use, perfume, soap, shampoo, everything. its so constant that even my younger cat smell likes it lmao!
big shampoo - again, flat straight hair? this will give you volume!! don't get me wrong, it has salt in it so it will dry it out. if that bothers you (it doesnt for me! i like that look with the dirty styling), use a conditioner and you will be fine. this shampoo is also what my mum uses, she put me on it back in 2020 and i love it. yes its expensive, so its not always the one i reach for. but if i dont like my hair cut or something, this is what i reach for. again, buy a conditioner with it if you dont like your hair being not-shiny! the salt is good for cleaning though, i love love love it!
ultrabalm - this is the god send of moisturizing. its all purpose, use it anywhere and everywhere. i have a problem with my lips getting rashes and burn-like skin on them because of allergies. if i dont have this stuff, it lasts weeks. with it, maybe three days. i really like the smell of it to, but that might be notaligia. i would recommend not using it to smell good though, it's very earthy but not like a perfume. regardless, this stuff is the shit and really good if youre allergic to a lot things, including scents! it has three ingredients! Organic Jojoba Oil, Candelilla Wax, Rose Wax. also, this stuff sells out a lot. i wouldnt always count on it being in stock! also the little metal tin it comes in his just darling.
work & headaches
2/25/2026, 2:05AMi've had an almost constant headache for a week now. i was out of work on saturday because of it and feel terrible about it. i bought something for posture and think thats going to ease it a little. but it just makes me grumpy and almost non verbal. my communication because stupid. but my husband is so kind when it comes to it. he knows how to help and also when to leave me alone.
work is bright and loud, but my boss lets me turn off the lights at my station, and i wear headphones for damn near the whole eight hours. thank the seven gods hasan streams on twitch for my shift hours.
i havent showered in a few days and im a little gross, but whatever. i have a package coming tomorrow with nice smelling soaps and shampoo. that'll get me in the mood to actually look after myself.
im going to a heated rivalry club night on thursday which should be a ton of fun. i'm excited for that! not excited for the flashing lights, but ive coped before and i'll do it again.
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